Because it is election year, and we are having such a difficult time choosing a new president, the Queen has decided to come across the pond and revoke our independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all the states.
*The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour', and 'neighbour'.
*You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse.
*All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving your motorcar on the left side of the road.
*You will adopt the UK prices for petrol- of roughly $10/US gallon.
*A tax collector from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
*Tea Time will begin promptly at 4 pm with tea cups and saucers, biscuits and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
*The national food of hamburgers and fries will be replaced with fish and chips with mashy peas, to be washed down with an ale.